I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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