Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
