Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
