I hate all girls vehemently.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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