All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I need to align my fucking chakras
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
