I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
