You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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