so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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