One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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