I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's official drugs can't kill me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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