I showed him my bush... on skype.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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