dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
