Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
