dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All the doctor said was why
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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