I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
