How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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