Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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