oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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