Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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