life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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