I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
