Non-Jews are for practice
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
