big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you had me at cake vodka
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
