If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
