I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Send help, water and tortillas.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.