Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
