I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.