my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed