After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?