There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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