thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
