I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize