Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
