Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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