It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
