Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
