he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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