STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
