I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
