I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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