i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
