My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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