im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I could fuck to npr.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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