i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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