Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
