Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
