So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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