We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
whose parrot is this?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Randomize
