That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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