they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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