Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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