My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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