...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
