Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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