Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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