I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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