why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
