I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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