Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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