you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
