He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
