dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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