so explain again why im purple
no
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
