you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
