It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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