i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
