Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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