i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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