True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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